The first time someone tried to steal my bag in the subway I panicked and I broke his arm with an umbrella and since then none of my friends will let me forget about this.
If you think this was a badass moment you need to remember I’m 5 ft and my bag was a Lucky Star bag and I was crying while hitting someone much bigger than me repeatedly with a frog-shaped umbrella.
you are my hero
four for you, punk rock jensen
you go, punk rock jensen
this is great on its own, but then you remember the fact that he was wearing a kilt and it just makes it that much better
“I was walking down the boardwalk in Venice Beach and some kids had probably two litters of puppies in a cardbord box. They were maybe a day to 3 days old and she was at the very bottom of the box and she couldn’t open her eyes yet. Nearly could fit into the palm of my hand.. and they were like ‘gimme 300 dollars!’ and I was like ‘I got 20 bucks on me. Give me the one that’s not gonna make it through the day.’ And I took her to the vet and he was like ‘I don’t know, man. She’s too young, she shouldn’t be away from her mom.’ So I bottle-fed her for a month and she used to kiss her way around which is how she got her name ‘Bisou’ - it means ‘kiss’ in french. And 12 years later, here she is.”
ALL OF MY CREYS
I… love… THIS MAN.